Thursday, January 14, 2010

What I Think Of - Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009)

You're not reading this for a true movie review right? I mean we all know what we're getting into when we sit down to watch a sequel about a bunch of chipmunks dancing and singing that has the audacity to call itself "the Squeakquel." So I'm just going to post up some of the thoughts I had while watching this film.
  • why the hell is Jason Lee in this film? I mean I know you aren't a "real" actor but you have to be getter than this right?
  • why do any of the Chipmunks or Chipettes bother to wear any clothes or shoes? I ask this because when we are first introduced to the Chipettes, they have no closthes on, and then when they start to wear clothes, you begin to realize that this is a kids movie and you saw a bunch of "human-like" animals naked.
  • how can Alvin catch a dodgeball and hold up a football? I mean I know this isn't reality, but at least the cartoon was smart enough to have some discretion, some regards for the immutable laws of physics.
  • why are there so many Asians in this movie?
  • why do the Chipmunks sleep in full-size beds? I mean isn't that just a waste of space? Can't they sleep in shoeboxes? Wouldn't that be more practical and conformable for them?
  • honestly, this movie isn't that bad. The songs are hip and catchy, the Chipettes look stylish and cute, but why was this movie ever made and why does this franchise continue to make so much money? I mean do kids even know the cartoon exists?
  • on that note, cgi chipmunks look dead behind the eyes and quite frightening.
  • how come nobody is every worried they may step on the Chipmunks? I mean when the Chipmunks go to highschool they run around while people walk the crowded halls. One: isn't that a safety hazard and 2: having rodents run around, isn't that a health code violation?
  • and lastly, no seriously Jason Lee, why are you in this film? "Ohh look, your unconscious in a hospital bed while it goes out of control and cgi chipmunks run around you, you poor bastard."
So those are just some of the thoughts I had while watching Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squequel, and yes, every time I write the movies full title I die a little inside. Like I said before, it's not bad, a 4/10 for adults, maybe a 7/10 for kids. It has everything an enjoyable all-ages film needs, except of course the timeless quality that made the original cartoon so great.

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