Fantastic Short Film Friday - The Duel at Blood Creek (live-action)

And we are back with another installment in our Fantastic Short Film Friday series, as we continue to showcase films released in the "lesser" known form of cinema- the short film.

It's time for another amazing short film for all you short film lovers out there. This one's actually quite funny, which can rarely ever say about a period piece. If you're a fan of a comedy of manners or percepived slights escalating to pistols at dawn, you'll get a kick out of this one. Here is the 15-minute British short The Duel at Blood Creek from filmmaker Leo Burton.

Here's the synopsis:

A man goes to a favorite dueling spot in order to settle some differences with the one who has wronged him but soon finds that he's not the only one that has decided its a beautiful day to have a duel.

This one's a playful short that unfolds with some great comedic performances and wonderful bits of timing from the actors. It's all about the subtle digs and trying to find ground in a world that's slowly leaving you by. Seriously this one's just funny and a great way to spend the afternoon. There's also a great ending to that makes the first 14-minutes even more hilarious.

Check this out if you like the absurd mixed in with your history. Check this out if like comedies of manners that lead right into the classic British truism, the farce. Enjoy this weeks dose of short film goodness with The Duel at Blood Creek.

Fantastic Short Film Friday - Showdown At The Hipster Saloon (live-action)

And we are back with another installment in our Fantastic Short Film Friday series, as we continue to showcase films released in the "lesser" known form of cinema- the short film.

It's time for another amazing short film for all you short film lovers out there. Sometimes you just want to shut off your brain and laugh at some stuff and if you live in NY, Portland or any area with a large hipster crowd, a large contingent of people who like things "before" they became cool, this is the film for you. Here a 4-minute comedy short called Showdown at the Hipster Saloon from the Pursued By Bear Comedy Troupe.

Here's the synopsis:

When a suspender-wearing hipster bearded guy gets ousted on Foursquare from his favorite saloon, it's time to show the wannabee new boss who the true "sheriff" of the bar really is.

There's quick draw tweeting, plaid wearing banjo players, big glasses on girls, lots of manly wax twirled beards, and a general disdain for anything popular - basically general society in a social media obsessed world. All in all, this is what I see in Brooklyn every weekend. This is just plain funny if you know, have seen or ever worked with hipsters (who of course never believe they're hipsters). Their cyclical arguments and conversations can be frustrating, which are perfectly encapsulated in my favorite line of the short:

Man - I liked this place before it became cool.

Woman - I liked this place before it was open.

Touche hipsters, touche.

Check this out if you want to see something light and funny. Check this out if you want to see how social media and culture are quickly overtaking our lives. Enjoy this weeks dose of short film goodness with Showdown at the Hipster Saloon.

Fantastic Short Film Friday - Gene Shalit Supercut (live-action)

And we are back with another installment in our Fantastic Short Film Friday series, as we continue to showcase films released in the "lesser" known form of cinema- the short film.

It's 2012, it's the first Fantastic Short Film Friday of the new year and what better way to start the new year then of a collection of awful, yet brilliant puns. This one is going to be short and sweet. Here is a 2-minute collection of puns used by film critic Gene Shalit in his reviews called, Gene Shalit Supercut. This is bad, but like many a bad movie, its goes from bad to good to bad and then to brilliant. I'm not going to say this is gold, but I will say I see why I'll never be a serious film critic. I can't come up with such great puns! And yes I know this isn't a "short film" but its short and its genius so I hope you'll forgive me.

Check this out if you watch a lot of movies and want to laugh. Check this out if you like Gallagher type puns, or hell even if you don't this is still gold! Enjoy this weeks dose of short form goodness in, Gene Shalit Supercut.

Fantastic Short Film Friday - Argentine Tangos (live-action)

And we are back with another installment in our Fantastic Short Film Friday series, as we continue to showcase films released in the "lesser" known form of cinema- the short film.

It's Christmas time! Now, I'm not the most religious person, but I love the feeling of the Holidays, the mood of winter time, being thankful for what you have and all that cliched stuff. I love it! It's my favorite time of the year, the general feeling of good joy and happiness around, or maybe that's just me (and truthfully that's all that I care about). This week I have for you a short that spreads the good-will all around. Here is a 14-minute Belgium whimsical dramatic short called, Argentine Tangos from filmmaker, Gus Thys. This is a short that warms the soul as the viewer and the characters within come to realize how much better it is to give, how giving can bring it's own kind of happiness.

The story follows an average middle-aged office-worker who meets a woman online that loves tango and asks her to meet him in 2-weeks so they can do the forbidden dance. The only problem is that he has no idea how to tangle so he ropes in one of his colleagues for help and well, in the end you realize Christmas joy and love can come in many different forms, even if they start out with a small white lie. Don't let the subtitles scare you, this story is easy to follow and you won't miss the action by reading them.

Wonderfully acted and beautiful shot, this is the perfect counter balance for the cold winter days, or as those awful self help books that were en vogue a few years ago and are now thankfully out of style, this short is Chicken Soup for the Soul. Yes I said that and yes I'll shut up now.

Check this out if you you're tired of seeing It's A Wonderful Life for the 300th time and want something new but with the same kind of warm messaging. Check this out if you you're trapped in your office doing busy work but wished you were doing something more productive. Enjoy this weeks dose of short form goodness in, Argentine Tangos.

Fantastic Short Film Friday - The Bloody Olive (live-action)

And we are back with another installment in our Fantastic Short Film Friday series, as we continue to showcase films released in the "lesser" known form of cinema- the short film.

This week we have for you a darkly humorous look at love and backstabbing, of double, triple, and quadruple crosses coming from everywhere that will leave head spinning with laughter. Here is a 10-minute Belgium film noir comedic short called, The Bloody Olive from filmmaker, Vincent Bal. What I find so amazing about this short is its ability to mix darkly film noir aesthetics, cliches and conventions and just exasperating them so much so that in the end the short becomes a comedy.

It's a Christmas celebration as a man and his wife sit down to have a lovely Christmas dinner. There's a ring of the doorbell and in walks a man who accuses the husband of embezzling from his company. Shorts are fired, knives are pulled out, as the three characters keeping getting killed over and over only to rise from the dead in twist after twist. This is the short M. Night Shyamalan would have made if he went crazy with his love of twists. Deeply and darkly funny, this short from Belgium will keep you guessing right up until the end. It's a set piece with only three actors, but there are so many twists and turns that in the end you're still left wondering, who's the real victim? The laughs here are hard won and of the slapstick variety, and those that both love film noirs and comedies will find a brilliantly executed marriage of the two genres.

Check this out if you're in the mood to have some dark laughs coupled with wonderful displays of mayhem and film noir violence. Seriously, the filmmakers somehow make this actually really funny. Enjoy this weeks dose of short form goodness in, The Bloody Olive.

Fantastic Short Film Friday - Rolling Bomber (live-action)

And we are back with another installment in our Fantastic Short Film Friday series, as we continue to showcase films released in the "lesser" known form of cinema- the short film.

This week we have for you a wonderful piece for anyone who grew up watching or even has a passing knowledge of the Powers Ranger TV show or other Super Sentei shows (i.e. hero's in costumes battling rubber suited villains). Here is a 7-minute action comedy short called, Rolling Bomber from filmmaker, Tetsuya Nakashima. The cliched hero's journey is one where the hero grows up as an outcast and must cast off his inhibitions and insecurities in order to save the world and become the hero he always knew he could be. Thankfully this one's a spoof and throws those conventions on their heads.

Starring J-Pop superstar Katori Shingo, this is the story of a young man who gets attacked by a group of super powered hero's who believe he's destined to destroy the world. Each and every day they attack him trying to defeat him as he cries that it's all a misunderstanding. However, as the young man continues to question who he really is, what he's meant to be, maybe these superhero cliche speaking jerks aren't so far from the truth.

Check this out if you're in the mood to laugh your head off. It's a truly funny play on conventions and will have any fan of the Power Rangers heaving in fits of cheesy laughter. This is the kind of crazy stuff that could only come out of Japan. Enjoy this weeks dose of short form goodness in, Rolling Bomber.

Fantastic Short Film Friday - Crazy Hands (live-action)

And we are back with another installment in our Fantastic Short Film Friday series, as we continue to showcase films released in the "lesser" known form of cinema- the short film.

This week we have for you a whimsical and slightly off-kilter short reminiscent of the Chaplin and Keaton silent comedies. Here is the 7-minute comedic short Crazy Hands from British filmmaker, Charlie Graley. Like the best silent films, this one takes a simple premise, a man wakes up and finds he no longer has control over his hands, and explores how that simple fact affects his and everyone around him daily lives.

As I mentioned this is reminiscent of the Chaplin and Keaton silent films, but that's not entirely true. There is no dialogue bu things aren't entirely silent. Our main character with the crazy hands lives in a world where grunts and facial expressions get people through their days. What I love so much about this short is how it showcases the fact that one simple thing can throw off the normalcy of our daily lives and how without the semblance of normalcy can drive anyone insane. There's a lot of heart here and if the finale doesn't put a smile on your face I don't know what will.

Check this out if you need some old-fashioned comedy, if the daily crush of the cubicle gets to you, watch this to realize things could be much worse. Enjoy this weeks dose of short film goodness in, Crazy Hands.

Crazy Hands from Charlie Graley on Vimeo.

Leftovers - A Capella Inception Trailer

Here's an A Capella version of the Inception trailer. What does that even mean? It means all kinds of funny. Click on the video and check it out. I just want to go around the rest of the day chanting: BRAAAAHMMMM. Enjoy.

Movie Review: Scott Pilgrim and the Infinite Playlist

This 2010 action comedy is adapted from the 6-issue graphic novel of the same name created by Bryan Lee O'Malley and is written and directed by Edgar Wright (of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz fame). It's easy to summarize this movie, but truly difficult to convey the absolute brilliant geek righteousness of it all. Basically Michael "Emo" Cera stars as Scott Pilgrim, a listless 20-something who is the bassist for the not very good indie rock band, Sex Bomb-omb. One day he meets the woman of his dreams in Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), an aloof 20-something package delivery girl. Just as things start to blossom, Scott finds out that in order to continue dating Ramona, he must battle and defeat her 7-evil ex's. Battle after battle, can Scott survive and win the true affections of Ramona, or in the end is all love doomed with the eternal question, "continue?"

As the days have gone on since I intially first watched, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, there's been a huge and continued backlash towards the star of the film, Michael Cera. No other actor in recent memory calls forth such vitriol from movie goers everywhere as the eternal man-child, the emo-epicness that is Michael Cera. His detractors cry out that he's the same in every movie, just always slightly moving his face, pouting and generally being an overall wimp. Frankly I'm stunned by this. Not only because I can't understand why so many hate the guy, I mean truly from-the-bottom-of-their-heart hate the guy, but also because I've always liked his style. So with all the hate in the forefront of my mind, I decided to rewatch his Scott Pilgrim-ish turn as Nick in Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. While my initial observations still hold true, it's more a soundtrack than movie (and the soundtrack isn't very good), a more documentary of NY music culture that indie-love story, and yeah I'm still way to old for the movie (where no adult appears to exist in the Logan's Run style that is NY of the movie), I have to say that I enjoyed it on my third watch. Perhaps after 2 repeat viewings I've just grown accustomed to it's mediocre character and plot development, but the movie and it's culture, it's panache washed over me on my third viewing and damn if I didn't enjoy it. I even went on ebay looking to buy a Yugo, but then again, I don't have a death wish.

Going back to Scott Pilgrim, this role is the ultimate Michael Cera-type role. I mean he's still the same nebbish, emo loser in a band, who's still reeling from a heartbreaking break-up (I mean this is the exact same character from Nick and Norah), but here he's more assured of himself, an almost oddly defined "playa" who can fight and will physically fight for the woman of his dreams. Here is Cera writ large, defined as the modern geek culture hero, a skinny guy with no muscle definition that can kick the butts of Superman and the Human Torch. Preach on Cera, preach on. But that's just Michael Cera's performance, what about the rest of the movie?

If you're a fan of the original graphic novels you won't be disappointed. It changes a lot of the story, the relationships, the battles, but all for the better for an adaption to the silver screen. The movie never let's up once, as the story moves from battle to battle, a hyper-imaginary world where video game fighting in "real" life is all part of the norm, and extra lives exist, where a geek who's pick-up line starts with, "do you know that "Pac-Man was originally called Puck-Man", can get the hottest girl in the room- very true to life- as music video-like cuts edit by at breakneck speed, and rhythm consistently pounds the screen with notes a la "Rock Band", a world where Superman got his superpowers from being a Vegan. Brilliant.

Sure there are some flaws to the movie- since it movies from battle to battle there is very little character development, and sure there's just a little too much going on the screen from time to time, an adrenaline pump for the ADD generation, and yes I get that people hate Michael Cera and this whole movie is Cera being Cera x10- but the jokes come a mile a minute, the comedy never feels forced or flat, playing for both the high-intellectual to the slapstick, and while there is very little character development, the characters are endearing, and unlike in Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist here the soundtrack is absolutely fantastic.

The casting and acting are also pitch-perfect. Michael Cera embodies the spirit of Scott Pilgrim to the T and Mary Elizabeth Winstead really feels as if she was just born from the page to the screen. But the two actors that stole the movie for me were Kieran Culkin as Scott's gay-roommate Wallace Wells and newcomer Ellen Wong as Scott's jail-bait former girlfriend Knives Chau. Kieran Culkin is just brilliant and hilarious and the best of the comedy in the movie comes from his character. Ellen Wong is just the most honest, endearing and heartbreaking character in the movie, and while you may think Scott is an ass and Ramona is at times a mean spirited woman, you only ever want the best for Ellen's Knives Chau. Out of all the characters in the movie, Knives is the most honest and true character in the movie, a girl we all know or knew at one point in our lives, a reminder on what it means to be young.

I must admit that while watching the movie, I never thought it was too "geeky", too niche, as my friends cried out with joy as the music from Final Fantasy, Zelda, Seinfeld and Mario Brothers played in the background of the movie. As the credits rolled and I smiled to myself thinking, "damn that was one amazing movie" and one that while not based on a video game, was the best video-game movie I have ever seen, I turned to my "Ramona" and asked what did she think. She went on to lament that she didn't get a lot of the jokes, and pressed asking "why did the words, 'bam, ring, vroom and zip' keep appearing on the screen", words that I never thought twice about always thinking they belonged. As she continued to reiterate her hatred for Michael Cera, I began to wonder if this movie was too "geeky", too niche for the general mainstream public. And then when the boxoffice results came out and the movie came in 5th, with a measly 10 mil take, I began to come to grips that my love for this movie may not really translate for everyone.

Still with that said, I enjoyed the hell out of Scott Pilgrim vs. the
World and give it a "bring your lunch from home because you do not want to miss this one." I cannot wait until this hits dvd and blu-ray so I can watch it over and over again and marvel at what the tagline of the movie succinctly puts, "it's epic epicness."

Movie Review: Killers (2010)

This 2010 action romantic comedy is directed by Robert Luketic (of Legally Blond, Monster-in-Law, 21, and The Ugly Truth fame)- so yeah all winners- and is the story of Jen Kornfeldt (Katherine Heigl) recently left by her boyfriend for being overly cautious. On a trip to Nice, France with her parents she meets an enigmatic and sexy (god I can't believe I'm writing this) young man named Spencer (Ashton Kutcher), a CIA agent with a license to kill. The pair begin a whirlwind romance which quickly leads to marriage. However when old enemies begin looking for Spencer, Jen has two choices, leave Spencer, or save his life.

I'm a sucker for these kinds of movies- action comedies with a sexy cast and hints of romance. The only problem is, these types of moves tend to be pretty awful. Okay I'm lying. They tend to be godawful. I may be one of only a handful of people who thought the trailers looked fantastic and wanted to see it. Judging by the movies poor box office performance, maybe there were less than a handful of us. To my brothers and sisters in arms I say this, "Guess what? Everyone else was right and we were way off." This film doesn't even deserve my traditional format for movie reviews.

Nothing works in this film and I'm stunned that director Robert Luketic keeps getting work. His movies have been progressively getting worse and I never thought he could reach the lows of J-lo's Monster-in-Law, but this film makes that one look like Casablanca. He must have some dirt on some film execs because there is no good reason why he should ever be allowed to direct another movie.

To be fair some of the shots in this film were quite beautiful. But the action scenes, the scenes the whole movie is based around were bland and at times incomprehensible. However, I thought the cast was quite good. Heigl is just beautiful even if she can't act particularly well, and Kutcher is actually a pretty good actor. I can see him playing like a younger James Bond type, a kind who gets all the girls, travels the world killing, and yet also appears vulnerable. Film producers, get to making that script happen.

So yeah, sure the cast is hot, the locales beautiful, but there really isn't anything here besides a mind-numbingly ridiculous plot, some shaky directing, a worse script and some truly terrible dialogue. I give this film a definite, "sneak out/I want my money back rating." Like how in basketball, when players getting blow-out score, it's called "garbage time." Killers is the equivalent of that. This is just "garbage time", something to fill the time just because it needs to be done and sadly, someone has to do it?

What I Think Of: The Back-Up Plan (2010)

Another month, another romantic comedy and I'm all the lesser for it. This 2010 rom-com is directed by tv director and first time feature film length film director Alan Poul and stars Jennifer Lopez as Zoe, a pet shop owner who decides that since she hasn't met the right man yet, to get artificially inseminated since she wants a child. However things don't go as planned when she meets a hunky farm owner named Stan (played by Alex O'Loughlin). Will Stan stay when he finds out that Zoe is pregnant, and is Zoe ready for the greatest gift of all- a family?

Booo. I know. What the hell was I thinking watching this? But again like I always say, I'll see any rom-com and time and again they prove me a sucker. The two lead character's are so different, so at odds with one another and yet, and yet... so right for one another. Wow. You can imagine how the movie ends. I wanted to see this one because I was a big fan of the 2007 tv show Moonlight, which starred Alex O'Loughlin as the hunky vampire, but yeah, I've come to understand a movie about a woman who is obsessed with having babies isn't really for me.

Here are some of my thoughts concerning this film:

• Jennifer Lopez has really gone down hill as an actress. I mean she still has the cute rom-com female love interest going, but just thinking how she started out in Selena, then in Out of Sight which is just one of the best movies, it's kind of sad. Still, she has carved out a niche market here, but I can't think of any of the rom-com's that she's been in that have been stellar...or good?
  
• Since Jennifer Lopez's character owns a pet store (and since they do book signings at pet stores although this is the first time I've heard of such a thing), Caesar Romano makes a cameo. I'll give any movie more credit when they get Caesar in the film. I love dogs, and Caesar's tv show allows me to watch dogs play and still make me feel like I'm watching something important.
• I know that Alex O'Loughlin is good looking, but the way he goes about courting Jenny from the Block is really creepy, very stalkerish and not endearing in a cute way at all. Which made watching this film almost feel like a horror/crime thriller, like I was expecting him to turn up with bodies buried underneath his house. But hey, he is good-looking so maybe really good-looking people do things differently.
• On that note, to many things are left unexplained, too many threads left unfinished. Stan owns a farm that he maintains and yet never seems to work at the farm. Zoe owns a pet shop that she rarely visits. Her guy employer seems to have a crush on her/is thinking about leaving the store, but the thread is never finished and he's only shown like three times so it's odd they had a story-arc surrounding him. Alex goes back to school so he can learn how to open and run his own grocery store but then quits the school because he has to work to support J-Lo's kid, but then he still somehow opens the grocery store and nothing is ever explained. I mean for a rom-com I'm stunned that there were so many left open threads.
• On that note, why where there so many threads in a rom-com? This movie is just way too long for its source materiel- yay we get to watch J-Lo be pregnant for an hour. Oh shes part of a single-mother's support group, and they're all hippies and lesbians and that's why they're single moms. Good for you director Alan Poul keeping up those wonderful stereotypes. Even worse, you don't go all out on the lesbian/hippy single mom stereotypes so it's never funny.
• There were just way too many characters in this movie. There's like 15 supporting character's and yet all feel like throwaways and are unnecessary. Especially when Stan goes to the park to hang out with other dads as he stresses about what it means to be a father. Just brutal. Way too many supporting characters that are supposed to matter but just make the length of the film feel longer.
  
• On that note, I can so see how Alan Poul has mainly directed hour tv shows like Six Feet Under and Rome, because this movie acts and is paced like a 45-minute show and yet sadly the movie is over 100 minutes long. Painful.
• Seriously Alex O'Loughlin's character is just way to creepy to be the male lead in a rom-com. I mean he comes off as a stalker/serial killer and while I get that J-Lo's Zoe is desperate, she's having a kid and this guy just keeps showing up everywhere. Again, I guess the really good looking people live in a different world and have a different set of social moral standards.

So that's what I think of The Back Up-Plan. Oddly much worse than I thought it was going to be since I really felt that it didn't know what it wanted to be, a rom-com about two people falling in love, a family drama on what it means to be a family, or a rom-com about two people not ready for parenthood. Either way, it failed at all three. Still there's a shirtless Alex O'Loghlin and J-Lo still looks pretty good, so yeah, some eye-candy I guess. But if you watch it and don't like it, then like me, you have no one to blame but yourself.

What I Think Of: The Bounty Hunter (2010)

What do you get when you team up two really good looking and fun actors, one who sends women all a-flutter with his washboard abs, the other formerly America's sweetheart who has aged really damn well? You get probably one of the Top 5 worst movies to be released in 2010. Again proving I'll watch every rom-com that's released, here we have The Bounty Hunter. This is a 2010 action romantic comedy directed by Andy Tennant (of recently Hitch and Fool's Gold infamy) as stars Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston as ex's in a cat and mouse game for their lives. Butler stars as Milo, a bounty hunter who finds that his next assignment is to bring his bail-jumping journalist ex-wife Nicole, to jail. However, things turn out generically, as the couple find themselves on the run for their lives when Nicole's current investigation appears more than it seems. They must fake being married again and hide out or be found and live down their vows "to death do us part" (and yes I went there). Here are my initial thoughts after watching the film:

• This film is actually stunningly bad. I mean I know it has an 8% score on Rotten Tomatoes, but I think that's still being generous. Granted, the trailers looked terrible, but I thought I would get at the very least a generic romantic comedy (which I can always watch), but this is like a hybrid of generic romantic comedy with even a more generic action movie and wow, it's like at the end someone slapped me in the face, looked in my wallet, scoffed at what they saw and then left, leaving me with my money but without my dignity.
• But the key to how bad I should have known this movie would be was that its directed by Andy Tennant who directed Matthew Mconaughey and Kate Hudson in Fool's Gold, which made my worst movie list of 2008. He was able to take two actors who starred in a film I really liked (How to lose a guy in 10 days) and then reunite them in a movie that made me wish I had lost my very eyesight. It's a shame too, since his directing career started out promisingly. Sure Fools Rush In is generic, but at least it wasn't insulting, and I love Ever After. I mean I've watched that like 20 times that movie is so good. But yeah, no more. You have once again taken two actors I really liked, put them together and made me never want to watch them in another movie again. At the very least I can say this one positive about director Andy Tennant, "I believe from now on I can always count on you to create a movie that will make my bottom list at the end of the year and give me something to talk about. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."
• I'm a big fan of Gerard Butler, but I think this is easily his worst performance. It's like he ate a ham sandwich before shooting and decided to act the entire movie in a really overly dramatic and hammy way. It actually made me really sad to watch him sink so low. But hey, it's a pay check and he got to hang out with Jennifer Aniston, so that's a plus.
• On that note, damn Jennifer Aniston still looks really good. I think she's gotten hotter in her old age. Sure, she still acts like Rachel in everything she does, but I don't care. She's just damn hot and well, I actually like her Rachel shtick, so I'll watch her in anything, and I thought she was really good in Love Happens.
• However, while I don't think Andy Tennant's direction helped, I can't say he should shoulder all the blame. Sarah Thorp's script is really frustrating. The whole movie doesn't know what it want's to be. A comedy? Well it isn't funny and there's no standout comedic moments. An action film? Well, the action scenes are really poorly shot and the plot that sets up the action actually makes very little sense. A romance? Well, we also don't really have that, and the reason why the couple originally divorced is just as poorly thought out and constructed as the rest of the movie. In the end, the movie tries to be three things, but leaves the viewer with nothing.
  
• Seriously, Gerard Butler is terrible in this film, and his character isn't really all that likable. And for that matter, neither is Aniston's, so you're left watching the movie, with two pretty terrible people not caring if they get back together, or perhaps hoping they do because they deserve to make each other miserable.
• In the end, I wish I could say something positive beyond, "wow Jennifer Aniston still looks really good", but I'll frankly be stunned if there is a worst romantic comedy then this one released this year. It seems like director Andy Tennant has forgotten how to present believable and interesting characters, and like how Uwe Boll's name is synonymous with the worst of video game adaptations, Tennant's name is now synonymous with the worst of rom-coms.
  

A definite "sneak out/I want my money back" rating. It's a damn shame this movie has already made around $121 million worldwide which will keep producers green-lighting films like this as long as big names are attached to the finished product. Anyway, do yourself a favor and stay away from this one no matter how much you may like the actors in it.

What I Think Of: Tooth Fairy (2010)

Yeah I saw this movie. Stop judging me. This Tooth Fairy is not to be confused with the 2006 low-budget horror movie, The Tooth Fairy, although it is debatable if this film isn't a horror movie as well. This 2010 family comedy stars "no-longer deserves to be called The Rock" Dwayne Johnson as a faded hockey player jerk who must serve as a "tooth fairy" when he tells a young girl that tooth fairies don't exist and learns that maybe sometimes, all we need to believe in is a little magic. Naturally, hilarity ensues. Here are some of my initial thoughts right after seeing Tooth Fairy:

• Here's my open letter to Dwayne Johnson: please Mr. Johnson, stop making these awful family films. Now I don't know why you decided to stop making action films. Maybe you were tired of them, maybe you wanted to make movies your kids could see (do you even have any kids?) and I can see why you perhaps stopped making action flicks (less chance of getting hurt), but these family films you make aren't even any good. They're not even Hulk Hogan in Suburban Commando good. Yeah you have charm and that's why I still continue to watch your films, but frankly, I think I'm done. That doesn't mean I think Tooth Fairy is a terrible film. It's just so generic that its forgettable, and The Rock should be anything but forgettable. So yeah, you got great teeth, but that's no reason to do this kind of film and me and the millions of your other fans would love to see another action flick from you, because a generic action flick starring The Rock is 10 times better than a generic family film because your talents are wasted here. Sincerely your fan, Joshua Lew.
• This movie is filled with awful puns concerning everyone's indentured gum servants, the teeth, or rather just one of said teeth. "The Tooth Hurts." "You can't Handle the Tooth." "The whole Tooth and nothing but the Tooth." And yes, all those are said by Mr. Johnson. Wait, there are still more terrible puns, but at least these aren't Tooth based, but rather fairy based. "Fairy Krishnas" (for Hare Krishnas) and my favorite, "Who wrote the fairy evolution? Charles Dar-wing?" Please dear god, make it stop.
• The Rock in a tuto and one inch tall with a high pitched voice being scared of cats. Some things are just not meant to be seen.
• Why does Dame Julie Andrews keep starring in these "Disney" type films. I mean your name starts with Dame!! Come on! Penny says all you've ever really done is The Sound of Music. She clearly doesn't know what the hell she's talking about and even if you only did one movie, who the hell cares, it's the f-n Sound of Music. But you still look damn good for a fairy godmother.
• On that note, why Billy Crystal? Why be the "Q", the gadget-man of fairy-land? I get that you aren't the same Billy Crystal I remember from my childhood of City Slickers and When Harry Met Sally but come on! You're not even Throw Momma From the Train Billy Crystal anymore.
• Ashley Judd still looks ridiculously hot, but now in a MILF kind of way. But yeah, I can't remember the last movie I saw her in? 2006's Bug? If so, then nice, that was a damn fine movie. Scary and gross as all hell.
• And lastly, the movie was funny, heartfelt and heartwarming at times so there is that. The little guy rising up, taking a chance on yourself, [insert other generic family drama feeling] but it wasn't enough to make this movie more than just for the bored kids at home.

What I Think Of - Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009)

You're not reading this for a true movie review right? I mean we all know what we're getting into when we sit down to watch a sequel about a bunch of chipmunks dancing and singing that has the audacity to call itself "the Squeakquel." So I'm just going to post up some of the thoughts I had while watching this film.

• why the hell is Jason Lee in this film? I mean I know you aren't a "real" actor but you have to be getter than this right?
• why do any of the Chipmunks or Chipettes bother to wear any clothes or shoes? I ask this because when we are first introduced to the Chipettes, they have no closthes on, and then when they start to wear clothes, you begin to realize that this is a kids movie and you saw a bunch of "human-like" animals naked.
• how can Alvin catch a dodgeball and hold up a football? I mean I know this isn't reality, but at least the cartoon was smart enough to have some discretion, some regards for the immutable laws of physics.
• why are there so many Asians in this movie?
• why do the Chipmunks sleep in full-size beds? I mean isn't that just a waste of space? Can't they sleep in shoeboxes? Wouldn't that be more practical and conformable for them?
  
• honestly, this movie isn't that bad. The songs are hip and catchy, the Chipettes look stylish and cute, but why was this movie ever made and why does this franchise continue to make so much money? I mean do kids even know the cartoon exists?
• on that note, cgi chipmunks look dead behind the eyes and quite frightening.
  
• how come nobody is every worried they may step on the Chipmunks? I mean when the Chipmunks go to highschool they run around while people walk the crowded halls. One: isn't that a safety hazard and 2: having rodents run around, isn't that a health code violation?
• and lastly, no seriously Jason Lee, why are you in this film? "Ohh look, your unconscious in a hospital bed while it goes out of control and cgi chipmunks run around you, you poor bastard."

So those are just some of the thoughts I had while watching Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squequel, and yes, every time I write the movies full title I die a little inside. Like I said before, it's not bad, a 4/10 for adults, maybe a 7/10 for kids. It has everything an enjoyable all-ages film needs, except of course the timeless quality that made the original cartoon so great.

What I Think Of: Nacho Libre (2005)

Honestly, I don't know what it is about this film (maybe because it's so ungodly bad), but every time this terrible movie is on TV I can't help but drop whatever I'm doing and watch it. Jack Black is awful, the costumes, the pastels, the dialogue, the scripting, my god what a mess! And yet, just like a train wreck, I can't look away, can't avert my eyes from the carnage. And now, 4 years later, somehow against all odds I've seen this film for the 12th time. Maybe it's my love for Luchador Wrestling, maybe it's because this film has wrestler's named: El Skeletor and El Chino and a black wrestler named El Snowflake- I don't know, but whatever it is, there's some kind of allure this film has where every part of my mind and body screams this is a terrible film stop watching it, and yet I must! Nachooooooooooooo!!!

I was a fan of husband and wife directors, Jared and Jerusha Hess's first film, Napoleon Dynamite, their odd type of storytelling that appears dated and yet somehow modern (like how characters dress like they're from the 80's but use modern cell phones). But it's because of Nacho Libre that I have very little hope for their upcoming 2009 film, Gentleman Broncos, a film that after wtaching the trailer I can't believe it exists, like it's some bad Saturday Night Live skit, or SyFy channel original movie. But this post isn't about Gentleman Broncos, but rather Nachooooooo!!!! Viva La Nacho, Viva La Luchador, and yes I am deeply ashamed of my confusing love for this unholy terrible film. Watch Nacho Libre at your own risk, like a young boy's confused sexuality growing up, this film is scarring.

What I Think Of: Finding Nemo (2003)

Well I am back from my Cruise vacation to Bermuda, and I thought I'd go with an aquatic theme for this week of Movie reviews. To start, we'll go straight into the Pixar bin of quality with their aquatic masterpiece, Finding Fabio...Nemo! For me, it was around this film when I started to realize how good Pixar really was, in terms of just making fantastic film after fantastic film. Finding Elmo...Nemo is no excepetion to their list. Even the tag line of the poster on the left is priceless as well. "There are 3.7 Trillion Fish in the Ocean. They're looking for one."

The fish they are referring to are Marlin, voiced by Albert Brooks, and Dory, voiced by Ellen DeGeneres. Both put in an absolutely brilliant performance, once again showing how well Pixar chooses their voice actors. Marlin is an over-protective father, due to a tragedy in the opening of the movie, which is another one of Pixar's attempts to make me feel sad emotions. His son gets kidnapped by a diver, and he ventures out into the vast ocean to find him. Along the way, he meets Dory, a very forgetful fish who manages to help him on his journey. Meanwhile, Nemo is trapped in a fish tank in a Dentist's office with other fish, with more great voice acting choices, who've clearly gone somewhat crazy living in it, and has to get out before the Dentist's niece takes Nemo away for good. It is the journey itself where the film really shines. This is a film that can appeal to many parents out there, who are afraid to let their children out of there sight in fear of what might happen to them. In his search for his son, Marlin learns that he can't shield Nemo from the world forever, just like he can't be afraid of the world forever either.

Not just the main characters make the movie so good, but all the minor & really minor characters as well, from the Seagulls to the Swordfish to the Crabs. Pretty much like all Pixar films, I really can't say anything bad about this movie. I personally believe that Ellen really steals the show as Dory, putting in a simple hilarious & brilliant performance, which plays perfectly against Albert Brooks' Marlin. She knows exactly what to do whenever life gets her down.



If, for some reason, you haven't seen this film yet, please do. It's yet another masterpiece in Pixar's long list of masterpieces.

-Greg

Second Look- What I Think Of: I Love You Man (2009)

Because of my compulsive nature, I generally watch every movie twice and there are hundreds of movies I've seen over 10 times. That sad fact is just part of my nature, I feel most things in life deserve two chances, so bad or good, I go though the motions again to see if there's anything I missed, any redeeming factor. It goes to show you how bad I think a movie is to not even watch it twice (I mean I've seen Beaches twice for gods sake!!)- like I'll never watch Transformers 2 again, or Hancock, or Repo The Genetic Opera, although sadly I'd probably give 10,000 BC another chance.

So this new part of the blog will be called "Second Look." This will be used for movies that I caught at the theater and then saw for a second time when released on dvd. It's an added feature to the "What I Think Of" part of the blog. So the first Second Look is of: I Love You Man.




This is still a fantastic film. I mean if you want the definition of Bromance, look no further than I Love You Man. The jokes fly out at a great pace, never a hindrance to the story, the acting is superb, and yes, this still does fieel like a Judd Apatow film even though he had nothing to do with it, showing you the power of the man. Rashida Jones is cute and funny as the love interest, Paul Rudd is the new everyman who's hilarious and gets the hot chicks, John Favreau is brilliant in everything he does and Jason Segel is the man period. If you haven't seen his rendition of a Dracula Musical, you are missing out on life! Here's the scene, where Segel plays Dracula's Lament from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Enjoy!!





How great was that?!! But going back to I Love You Man, it's still easily one of the better comedies to come out this year, having it all- bromance, romance, projectial vomiting, Lou Ferrigno, Rush, and of course, Slappin The Bass.





Admittedly, the film still does have all the problems I originally saw in it- some pacing issues, the whole "is Segel a scam artist that feels out of place", the too quick/rushed into ending (even though I love it). Still with all it's faults, I Love You Man was a great relief when we saw it back and reviewed it in March, and yes, it still holds up greatly on a Second Look.

What I Think Of: Gigantic (2009)

This is an odd and little seen quirky indie romantic comedy that came out sometime around April, played for 13 weeks in limited release, made about 102 thousand dollars for its efforts and quickly disappeared. This film has so many holes, so many faults, that you could drive a freight train right though it and come out the other side of China. There's so many plot threads, so many small instances that are peppered throughout the film's entirety that are never answered, causing a feeling similar to frustration more along the lines of, "why did they even put those scenes in the movie" rather than "hey what about those storylines you kept touching on?" Penny believes the film is a short story rather than a full one and I have to completely agree with her.

Yet despite all its faults I loved every minute of this odd film, littered with the type of odd characters that could never exist outside an indie film, the same type of characters and dialogue that lead people to criticize the indie film movement as a whole.

Paul Dano and Zooey Deschanel do a fantastic job here, especially Dano who, while playing a character that is so understated he barely talks, adds so much depth to the character that by the end up of the film you know everything he's about.

Again, this is by no means a good movie and I'm hesitant to even recommend this film since it's not for everyone, but I really did like Gigantic. The directing is nicely done, the scenes rather than the whole of the film a joy to watch. So yeah, check out Gigantic, a film with the unfortunately bad name.

Here's a clip of my favorite scene from the movie, the one I mentioned on the podcast where Dano and Zooey talk about nonsense until the pivotal end moment of the clip:





Wait, am I still dreaming? God damn, I'm awake!! I want to still be in that dream where Zooey propositions me!!

What I Think Of: The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)

Now, from the title, you might be thinking, "Is Greg reviewing another MST3K movie?" However, despite it's title, this movie is not an MST3K gem. Surprisingly, this movie is actually quite awesome, and one of my all time favorite movies from the 80's. To say that this movie is out there is an understatement. This movie is a tour de force of adventure, sci-fi, and comedy all rolled into 103 minutes of pure awesome. Essentially, evil Red Lectroids from Planet 10 need Team Banzai's now perfected Oscillation Overthruster to pass through solid matter and into the 8th Dimension, in order to free their captive comrades and wage war against the Black Lectroids from the planet of the same name. It's up to Scientist, Brain Surgeon, Rock Star, and all around grand adventurer Buckaroo Banzai and the Hong Kong Cavaliers to stop the evil Lord John Whorfin from succeeding before the Black Lectroids trigger the Cold War in order to make sure he doesn't escape the planet.

No really, this isn't an MST3K movie. It's just pure fun, it really is. What makes me love this movie so much is that it doesn't take itself seriously at all. I mean, there are sequences in the movie that make little sense to anyone but the Hong Kong Cavaliers themselves, but it works so well. Another thing that makes this movie so great is the casting. Peter Weller puts in a great performance as Buckaroo himself and Jeff Goldblum is great as New Jersey. However, the two who really steal the show are John Lithgow as Dr. Emilio Lazardo/ Lord John Whorfin and Christopher Lloyd as John Bigboote. They truly bring the humor to the movie, especially towards the end of it when they interact more.

Now, this was W.D. Richter's directorial debut, and only one of two movies he's ever directed, with his other being Late For Dinner. I'd like to think that he knew he couldn't top this awesome of a movie, so he just wanted to do one more as a director, then call it quits. Really, I don't see how he can top this. What also made this movie so good, in my eyes, was that it's non-stop. The movie just flies by, and doesn't let up in it's silly premise at all. There is no dull point at all, from beginning to end. Speaking of the end, this movie has one of my favorite ending credits ever, if not my favorite of all time. I won't spoil it, but I think it's so hard not to whistle or hum the Buckaroo Banzai theme after you're done watching it. I highly recommend this movie to anyone looking for a fun time. It's one of the best and one of my favorites.

-Greg

What I Think Of: Land of the Lost (2009)

I must admit that when I first saw trailers for this remake of the classic television show, I was far from impressed. The trailers made this film look campy and crappy, and not in a good way. However after watching it, my initial impressions were totally off base. Shame on whoever cut the trailers because far from just being a stupid comedy, Land of the Lost is a dark, subversive comedy with a very British sense to it. As the film progresses things get zanier and crazier, but there's an undercurrent of dread, like at any moment our heroes could get eaten, or rather eat something and crap themselves to death. In this world violence is a way of life, a means to an end.

Land of the Lost feels like a living breathing Salvadore Dali painting, a cross between 70's television and the surreal "Escalator" photo from Scott Mutter. The backdrop of the world is just beauty in color. Frankly, more so than just being a movie, it's a wonderful piece of art.

Still, there's a lot wrong with this movie. Not all the jokes hit and some are frankly just too deadpan. And the four main charcaters are just the biggest of idiots causing you to wonder how they survived in the real world let alone in a "lost" world. However, I still found this movie to be a very entertaining, fun and creative romp through a lost and imagined world. Again, shame on whoever cut the trailers because this movie deserved to make more money at the boxoffice than the no money it made. So yeah, check out Land of the Lost if you're looking for an offbeat, different king of comedy.