Welcome to the Cinema Cafe Podcast, the film podcast, by the fans for the fans. Join us as we review new movie releases, talk some film news and share our general love for all things cinema. Also, newly added, book reviews!! We review a lot of movies that are adapted from books, and we've generally read those books beforehand, so we also like to have in-depth discussions on the differences between the original book source and movie adaptation. Enjoy!!
- if you’re one of the 10 people in the world that doesn’t know anything about this film, please, please watch the trailer online. This movie looks like an orgasm come to life for fanboys everywhere and I might go blind from the sheer awesomeness of this film. Then again, it may suck all kinds of pain, but early reviews say it’s a near 100% faithful adaptation of the groundbreaking graphic novel, so yeah I think it’s going to be good. I’m not kidding when I say I’m going into this film with high expectations. It’s my favorite comic book of all time, and I fully expect it to be the greatest film ever created. If not, then well, at least I can cry into the arms of Penny as I weep my decade long dream of seeing this as a film die in front of my eyes. This is a movie about superheroes where only one of them has special abilities. This is a movie about what if a group of superheroes really existed and how that existence would have changed history as we know it.
The Horseman
- this much delayed movie about a widowed detective (played by Dennis Quaid) who finds a connection between himself and a serial killing spree linked to the four horseman of the apocalypse finally see’s a limited release. Some are calling this a Seven retread and not in a good way. Others are calling it a mess. But I am curious in seeing it because it also stars Zhang Ziyi in a supposed very Audition kind of role. So yeah, color me interested.
Tokyo
- this anthology features 3 stories set in Tokyo directed by Michael Gondry, Leos Carax, and Joon-ho Bong. Most people who have seen this call it a complete bore, but I like 2 of the 3 filmmakers so I may check this one out.
12
- this movie about 12 jurors that must decide the fate of a Chechen youth for the murder of his stepfather is another example of why I have a problem with the Oscars and the foreign films they nominate because no one can see them unless they bootleg copies of the films. This film finally sees the light of day after coming out in 2007 and being nominated for Best Foreign Picture in early 2008. I haven’t seen this film but thankfully now, finally have the chance to see it in limited release.
Phoebe in Wonderland
- this Sundance Film Festival darling from last year is about a little girl (played by Dakota Fanning’s sister Elle Fanning) who struggles to conform to a seemingly rule-obsessed world and who seeks enlightenment from her unconventional drama teacher. This has gotten rave reviews so could be quite good.
This 2009 American-German espionage thriller is directed by German filmmaker Tom Tykwer (he of Run Lola Run and Perfume: The story of a murder fame) and follows Clive Owen and Naomi Watts as they investigate a string of murders and corruption all leading back to a banking institution. Basically Owen plays Interpol agent Louis Salinger, who has been trying to bring down the IBBC bank (the International Bank of Business and Credit) for years. He teams up with NY Assistant DA Naomi Watts as they uncover illegal acts committed by the bank such as arms trading, money laundering and assassination. Every step of the way they are hindered by red tape and the extreme corruption that goes even to the highest levels of the government. Is there any way for Salinger to bring down the IBBC bank legally, or will he have to step out, passing the lines of the law for justice?
As absurd as this story sounds, it’s actually inspired by the 1991 BCCI bank scandal which saw the 7th largest private bank in the world use their 20 billion plus assets to launder money, support terrorism and traffic arms through the sale of nuclear technologies. So yeah the story is all too real, and yet the real story is much more interesting than the movie that was inspired by it. First off, The International is convoluted for convoluted sake. Much of the film makes little sense, as plotlines lead to other plotlines, branching out farther and farther, leaving many threads unanswered or forgotten. Another thing is that I don’t get why Naomi Watts is even in this film. She’s not a love interest and her part as an Assistant DA adds nothing to the story. She’s just there adding no new information to aid Owen, and basically is a character for Owen to talk to so it wouldn’t be weird that he’s talking to himself most of the time.
Also, there’s just way to many talking heads. This is a term used when characters are just sitting around in a room talking, as a type of expository, so the plot can move forward. This is fine and all, but for much of the near 2 hour running time, the whole movie is just a 2 or 3 people in a room talking to each other, and it got boring really fast. While I thought some of the plot was interesting, it’s like watching my college professor’s lecture. The trailers for this movie would have believe that this was an action fest, as ATM’s explode, giving the option for deposit or die, shoot-outs happening at a drop of the hat, and snipers taking out anyone and everyone. This is a flat out lie because besides a very nice 15 minute shootout in NY’s Guggenheim museum, there is simply no action. Not even the action of people running, I mean it, no action. Again, I don’t think anything is wrong with that, but the trailers are misleading. I mean the ATM’s exploding isn’t even in the movie.
Let’s talk a little about the Guggenheim shoot-out. This is by far my favorite part of the movie. I kept remarking how I couldn’t believe they filmed this at the Guggenheim because there’s bullet holes galore in all the art. Obviously, they built a replica set of the famous museum to film the action scene, but it just looks so real, exactly like the museum, that it was nice to watch all the modern art get torn up. Seriously people: showing a video on a 24-hour loop of people walking around in big hats and walking dogs is not art. But yeah, cool scene and Owen was pretty bad assed in it.
How about the acting? I came into this movie thinking of “what if?” For those that don’t know, before Daniel Craig took over for Bronson as the blond Bond, everyone thought Clive Owen would be the next Bond. After seeing Owen here, I think the producers of the Bond franchise made the right choice. While granted Owen is not given much to do here, I just think Craig’s hard and weathered face suits the new Bond character better than Owen’s tired and disheveled face. Anyway, here Clive Owen does his usual Clive Owen role and that’s why I love him. What makes him so great is that regardless if it’s a drama like in Closer, or an action scene like the Guggenheim shootout, his acting, his deadpan face, is always the same. It’s brilliant. Naomi Watts, well like I mentioned before I don’t know why she was in this film, and she just basically floats through the film without doing anything, but she’s not known for being a great actress. It’s just an overall really average group, but you have to wonder if it’s the script fault or the actors, and if I had to guess, I’d say the scripts fault.
One thing I wanted to point out before we wrap up this review is the ending. Now I’m not going to give anything away but I wanted to note that the International tries to set up a conclusion, a denouement, and yet by the end, all the planning bears no fruit, just a bunch of dried out seeds. So I was left baffled, thinking, then what was the whole third act about? What was the whole point of this movie? Nothing happens? It’s like planning for a month long vacation backpacking through Europe, paying for it all in advance, and then when the time comes you’ve forgotten all about it and are eating Chinese take-out in your apartment instead of going on the vacation. There’s all this setup and everything falls flat on its face, making the whole movie unnecessary. I just don’t get it.
Many critics have been pretty harsh on this film, and movie goers have been even harsher as it’s pulled in 17 million domestically in 3 weeks with an estimated 50 million dollar budget. When I first saw the trailers I thought the movie looked boring and uneventful, and I should have stayed true to my initial impression. It’s a shame because German director Tom Tykwer is a fantastic director, he’s just given very little to do here. So yeah, I give this a, “I want my money back/sneak out rating.” It does pose some interesting and thought provoking dilemmas, on how we as a society, as a government, can allow private institutions to get to big and ultimately hurt the very people they are set up to serve, but yeah, The International is just a confusing and boring mess, one that it’s director and cast are wasted on.
This 2009 martial arts action film is based on the Capcom video game franchise of the same name. It is also the second live-action Street Fighter movie following Jean-Claude Van Damme’s infamous 1994 film and is directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak, the maestro behind such action luminaries as Romeo Must Die, Cradle 2 the Grave, Exit Wounds and Doom. Seriously how does this guy keep getting work? To be fair, no one does generic martial arts movies starring Jet Li, Steven Segal and rapper DMX quite like him. Anyway, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li stars Smallville’s Kristen Kreuk as Chun-Li, a young girl on a journey of justice for the murder of her father by the hands of the evil M. Bison. From China to Bangkok, along the way she finds a teacher in Gen (played by Mortal Combat’s Liu Kang, Robin Shou), unlikely allies in Charlie Nash (played by Chris Klein) and must strive for inner peace in order to defeat her enemies. The big question here is: will this be as bad as Van Damme’s 1994 film, or will there finally be a good Street Fighter live action movie?
No one’s a bigger Van Damme fan than me, and yet I can fully say that his Street Fighter movie is one of the worst movies ever made. It took all that was great in the Street Fighter universe, crapped on it, and then let it out to rot. So when they announced a new Street Fighter movie, one that didn’t even have the main character of the game in Ryu, I was reticent to say the least. This, while better shot than the Van Damme movie, is still not any good. It straddles the line of being so bad it’s good, however, I’d have to learn more towards just being plain crappy. I just don’t get why they can’t make a decent Street Fighter movie. Make it like Bloodspot, where characters face off and fight. While I can understand how in 1994 it was impossible to do many of the moves, CGI has advanced far enough where we can show believable looking fireballs, yoga noogies, and sonic booms. Why can’t Hollywood get it right? When it comes to Street Fighter, it’s not about the story but about the action. I mean, Japanese animation has made some fantastic Street Fighter movies, in Street Fighter 2 and Street Fighter Zero. However, beyond being a fan of the video game, only a fan can get even a semblance of enjoyment from this movie because it is simply craptacular. I mean even the main villain M. Bison, doesn’t do any of his moves in this movie. He’s just a sucky martial artist. How does he control the largest evil organization in the world? He sucks. The movie also takes place in Bangkok, and yet one of the major characters in the game, the only character from Thailand, Sagat, is not even in the movie? Why? I don’t know.
The action in this movie is also baffling. The fighting scenes, for a martial arts movie, feel as if there’s no immediacy, no validity. In one scene, Chun-Li busts out her signature upside down helicopter kicks and it looks like her feet don’t actually touch anyone. It all just looks so fake. Seriously, there’s these long drawn out fight scenes and at the end, it looks like none of the action hurts, none of the moves hit, and for a martial arts movie, that is the greatest sin because if we don’t feel if anyone’s getting hurt then what’s the point. I can understand how Kristen Kreuk cannot actually do martial arts, but neither can Zhang Ziyi or many other actors for that matter, but you can make it believable with good choreography. Let’s just say, choreography is not this movies strong suit.
There’s also this supernatural aspect of how M. Bison channeled all his goodness into his unborn daughter to make him the ultimate underworld leader because he has no conscience. Okay, so no conscience equals ruling the world? They don’t even try to explain why this was important, just that he went to some secret cave to lose the goodness in him. Just shut the hell up Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li.
There is one actor in this film that I want to point out and that is Chris Klein. I’ve always been a Chris Klein fan. I enjoyed what little he did in the American Pie movies and thought the Rollerball remake was pretty good. But here, Chris Klein as Charlie Nash is simply appalling. It’s like he thought he was in a different film, one about people with fake southern accents and Nic Cage mullets. He’s like, and this is an actual line and accent from the movie, “I’m Charlie Nash from Interpol. Charlie Nash.” Just terrible.
This movie does have a few memorable lines as its predecessor did. In one scene M. Bison says about someone he’s about to kill: “he’s like milk and milk has an expiration date.” Oh snap. While the original Van Damme movie was so bad it transcended the meaning and became memorable, this one is just simply bad and will be forgotten quite soon. The projected budget of this movie is around 60 million and I have no idea where that money went to because it ain’t the action. So I give this a, “sneak out, I want my money back rating.” Maybe check it out on dvd if you’re a fan of the video games, but yeah, bad. Thanks again for another winner 20th Century Fox. What a way to start another year.
